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Before I begin telling my own story, I'd like to begin with the Scripture that has inspired this year's Lenten Lunch series.
Jesus is baptized before the start of His ministry by John the Baptist in the River Jordan. As He is in the water, the clouds open, the Spirit depends like a dove, and the voice of The Father calls out "This is my beloved son with whom I am well pleased."
And right after this happens, Jesus goes into the wilderness for 40 days. This is how Jesus prepares to go into His own ministry. He goes into the desert to be alone, reflect, and spiritually prepare Himself. This is also meant to be a model to us. When we receive a new call from God in our lives, we should take the time to prepare.
That is what I ended up doing with my call to ministry, although it was less in order to prepare and more because I was struggling to figure out what had just happened to me.
When I was 15 years old, I was fortunate enough to get the chance to go on a two week pilgrimage for Episcopal youth in the Diocese of Alabama to England and a monastery in France known as Taizé. Towards the end of our time in England, we journeyed to Winchester Cathedral (which you can hear more about here). It has a rich history including, but not limited to, it being the final resting place of Jane Austin.
We were journeying to the medieval shrine of St. Swithun, a bishop at Winchester. St. Swithun gained notoriety from this legend: one day Swithun was crossing the town bridge. The workers there were being mean to a nice young lady who dropped her basket of eggs, breaking many of them. When St. Swithun helped her pick them up, they were miraculously made whole.
In this spirit of healing, we held a reconciliation ceremony at the shrine. During this ceremony, I went up to Bishop Andrus, our bishop suffragan at the time who went on to become Bishop of California. I remember him asking "What is it that you seek?" Before I could think about it, I replied "Am I to be a priest?"
I was pretty distraught and not sure what to do. While I was interested in Scripture and had been thinking of possibly studying theology, I hadn't given thought to ministry. I didn't really know that this was on my mind.
I was thankfully thoughtful enough at this age to know this was no small thing. And I was in the state of thinking "what just happened?"
Fortunately, soon after our time in Winchester, we journeyed to Taizé in France.
Now Taizé, as I said before, is a monastic community. It's an ecumenical community, which is a fancy way of saying there are people of all Christian denominations there. Its founder, the late Brother Roger helped to aid Jews hiding from the Nazis in occupied France during WWII. If you've heard of Taizé, you probably think about the music that comes from there, but it is in fact so much more.
Staying at Taizé involves a routine of prayer. There's morning, afternoon, and evening prayer, with meals before or after. Each service involves singing, Scripture, a moment of silence to reflect, and more singing. Particularly at night people will stay or leave after the final service is done.
This environment was perfect to stop and reflect because there was so much time to ponder. Plus there is a great deal of Scripture spoken around you, so while you ponder, you are also really in conversation with God.
I still had moments in Taizé that added to my thinking. We had small groups that we met with, and it was clear in mine that I had an interest, and some knowledge, in Scripture. One of our group members, the son of a minister himself, asked me if I was going to be a priest.
There were also a lot of workshops at various times in Taizé too. The one I remember the best on discernment. It was led by a younger brother, probably somewhere in his late 20s or early 30s. He shared a bit of his life with us. He had had to discern between coaching an Olympic team or joining the Taizé community. He told us that God always asks us to give something up when we follow Him, but we get so much more in return.
I ended my time in Taizé with a lot of questions still about my call. I came to the conclusion that I was too young to be thinking about such things, and yet, when I returned home, the power of that place still stayed with me. The contemplative spirit I had cultivated in Taizé remained in me, just as the thoughts about my call to ministry did too. The sense that God had indeed called me to His service grew stronger and stronger, leading me to where I am today.
I would encourage all of you, at some point this year or in your lives, to take the time to stop and reflect. It's not that you will necessary receive the answers you seek right away, but it will make you more open to receiving what it is God has to offer you. A period of quiet will, at the very least, help prepare you for the next stage in your journey, wherever it is that God desires to take you.