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The second semester of my second year of seminary had been pretty rough. I had gone through a difficult time the summer before with Clinical Pastoral Education (CPE), the emotional damage from such, and being told by my seminary and diocese that I needed another unit since I hadn’t gotten enough out of the first. On top of this I had been going through health issues as well.
At the time, I had really been questioning if I wanted to move forward with ordained ministry. Having a wonderful time serving those with mental illnesses and disabilities during my CPE unit at Holy Comforter Episcopal Church in Atlanta helped me continue. Still, I was very nervous about going back to Sewanee with some of the professors and peers alike.
The tradition in our seminary was to start the academic year going on a silent retreat at the nearby convent. One of the people I saw early on was Bishop Tengatenga, the former bishop of Southern Malawi.
Bishop Tengatenga was one of my favorite professors. As someone who had been very involved in the wider Anglican Communion, he had a lot to teach about the history, theology, and current events of Anglican Churches worldwide. I took many classes from him beyond our required courses. He continued to be a mentor for me even after I graduated.
I remember early in the retreat Bishop Tengatenga coming up to be. He gave me a smile, maybe a hug too. That small act gave me strength to make it through the year.
Later in the semester I mentioned this to him and thanked him for his small act, which had been kind and very huge for me. He looked confused for a moment and said he had no recollection of that.
These sort of events are not uncommon where someone helps another grow in their faith through a tiny act they don’t even remember. These sort of events are important. They also fit with what we hear in Scripture this morning.
Jesus tells us in the Gospel that the Kingdom of God is something that grows, or comes out, of something small and apparently insignificant. Out of what is tiny comes something huge, something we never would have expected from a thing that size.
Paul reminds us in Romans today that “The Spirit helps us in our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we ought, but that very Spirit intercedes with sighs too deep for words.”
God uses what seems small and insignificant, even a smile or a hug, to build something greater. The Spirit, in doing so, acts in ways we could not expect. We know so little, even when it comes to how to pray, yet the Spirit still works in us and through us. We don’t always know how. We may not even know that the Spirit is doing it. Yet it does happen.
Again, events like what happened with me and Bishop Tengatenga are more common than you may expect. I’ve even heard stories like this where someone has been brought to Faith. The common thread is these events are things the person who causes them, who gives that seemingly insignificant action or word, doesn’t even remember because it is the Spirit that has moved through them.
God works something great inside of us with something small, and God does so in ways that those the Lord works through might not even recognize or see. That is the power of God working in the world, and we are not always aware of how or what the Spirit is doing.
So keep your eyes open for the small things. God will use what is little to work something in you that is great. Be ready to see what the Lord is working inside you so that you may all the better serve God in this world.
Also keep yourself open. We may not always know how to pray, but the Spirit will show us how. The Spirit works within us in ways we don’t always know or can’t even fathom. The Lord works in ways we cannot always say or describe. Yet the work God does in you can perform a great many things, important things even. So keep your heart open to let the Lord work the unexpected in you so that you might be that unwitting vessel to do God’s will in the world.